He stood there glistening in the sun upon his roof top at the brownstone, refreshing UV light hitting every inch of his body as he absorbed the positive benefits of the first mornings light.
"Sherlock!!" Joan was hurtling up the stairs bumping into things as she flung open the door.
"What are you doing?! Why haven’t you got your clothes on?!"
Joan blushed as Sherlock swung around in full view.
"Can’t you surmise the obvious by your self Watson?! I am attempting to put on that glow you were hoping for on our wedding day. My present to you my dear Watson!"
Sherlock exclaimed with his matter of factly face giving way to a slight signer on the corner of his left lip as the joy of putting Joan on edge shone through his bright grey eyes.
"For god’s sake Sherlock!" Even in her anger she could not hide her feelings nor her joyful disposition.
Moments later everything was on the move and back on track, Sherlock had managed to be bathed, clothed and ready to meet up with Captain Gregson for their journey to the chapel as Joan was waited on hand and foot by her brides maids preparing for the grandest of all occasions.
Sherlock Holmes and Joan Watson’s wedding, even the gods them selves felt relief.
Gregson's Grin was certainly something to witness as he opened his door to see Sherlock standing before him.
"Sherlock! You look amazing!" "Okay Gregson, have your fun if you will. Take advantage of my moment of weakness."
"Come now Holmes! It's not often I am in this most fortuitous position, dressed to the nines and looking at Sherlock Holmes in a tux!"
Agent Bell popped his head around the corner grinning like the cheshire cat.
“I still have these you dirty detective!” He dangled on his finger evidence from the bachelor party, a pair of pink lace panties with a strange hole on one end.
“You do still value your life don’t you Marcus?”
“Are you seriously going to threaten a police officer?!” Bell remarked unable to wipe the grin from his face.
“Apologies agent Bell, maybe we should then infer to the numerous skeletons you have in your closet that I am privy to, like that time at Hotel Delaminate?”
Bell’s grin swiftly turned into a look of terror.
“Gregson he never plays fair, sometimes I just want to shoot him and be done with it.”
All three broke out in to hysterics and banter went on about the amusing details of the night prior.
On the outskirts of the city approached a dark as night Lamborghini, roaring past the Welcome to New York sign. Inside sat a man tall, well built and present to his task.
I am along way from home, he thought. If she is here I’ll find her. He fought his internal demons about how to handle her when he did, his foot dove into the gas pedal that much deeper as the car ripped into New York City.
Mean while Joan was on the way to the Chapel with her brides maids.
Mrs. Watson gave her daughter a loving look.
“Joanne, I never thought I would get to see you in your wedding dress looking so lovely!”
“Geez thanks Mum!” The anger and slight shame rose up inside of her. No surprise coming from a hardened Chinese woman like her.
“I didn’t mean it like that dear! Its just that you have had such a bad track record with men and then after you became an investigator seeing all those horrible things I thought that would ruin you for sure.”
“Well I am not ruin mum!”
Mrs. Watson didn’t even flinch.
“Well that’s all over with now anyway, my darling girl is getting married to a genius and famous detective and she is the most beautiful and happy I have ever seen her.”
She gave that well placed mothers smile that every child works hard for, Joan even in her disbelief smiled.
They pulled up to the entrance of the chapel surrounded by vehicles everywhere as the press from several news agencies flashed their cameras.
The girls all smiled, they were about to receive the moment of fame and a whole lot more.
Once inside Joan was worrying like a pre-med student.
“Where the hell is that man?! I’ll kill him if he’s late!”
Bell, Gregson and Sherlock arrived around the back, Sherlock started feeling unwell.
“You alright Sherlock?” You look like you’re gonna throw up?”
“Can you feel that?” “Yeah its Sherlock Holmes finally scared of something and it’s priceless.” Bell remarked.
“No! Something’s not right, it all feels off.” He started thinking rapidly, he had worked this day and its details down to the bone and something was not right.
As they walked in through the back to prepare for the ceremony Sherlock’s mind worked hard as chills ran down his spine.
A Lamborghini skid to a stop outside St. Paul's Chapel.
The magic moment was happening, Joan in all her beauty began to walk down the aisle as the music played proudly in the background and all the guests got to their feet.
There was an explosion of streaming smoke in front of the Pastor.
Sherlock’s jaw dropped, and for the first time in a long time horror was on his face.
“Irene!”
Joan stopped in her tracks screamed ever so slightly.
“Hanna! What the hell are you doing?!”
“That’s Professor Hanna Moriarty to you dear sister!”
Things had just gone from perfect to absolute hell, Sherlock came out of his body comma to step forward.
“You need to come with me!”
“I have got some unfinished business first”. Exclaimed a thundering voice standing at the church doors.
In walks a tall man in a noticeably expensive suit, conviction in his eyes and quite obviously murder on his mind.
“I am Bruce Wayne of Gotham City! And that woman will answer for her crimes!”
Word Count 992
Looking good so far :)
ReplyDeleteHey Pranay :)
ReplyDeleteAgree with Esther, it is a great start! I like your writing style and use of vocabulary, however I would recommend for your final version that you use speech marks for the dialogue, to make it clearer. Also watch your grammar, there are a few mistakes with regards to there/their and to/too. Only a draft I know, but something to keep an eye on.
Cheers,
Rose (Grammar Nazi) ;)
Thanks Rose, Yeah I picked up on the speech marks and had started adding them in my draft :) Thanks for the grammar pointers!
DeleteI am very impressed so far, your descriptions draw the reader in quite nicely without going into TOO much detail, the interaction between the characters has been woven in quite nicely so far. That being said, You are missing some speechmarks in the second paragraph which makes it a little harder on the eye and breaks the immersion for the reader - Something you will want to fix before your final submission. As Rose said, there is a few grammatical errors that need to be picked up too.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, keep up the good work, I look forward to seeing the final outcome!
Thanks Glen, will do the updates to the final now. Its getting more fun writing it.
DeleteI've never watched Elementary before, but it wasn't difficult for me to get into the story which I guess shows that your descriptions are well detailed without overwhelming the reader. As the other two have said, the missing speech marks do make it harder for the reader and stop the flow a little but that's something that doesn't take much to fix :) I have absolutely no idea where this story could possibly go as I'm only just being introduced to the show so I'm looking forward to seeing how it pans out :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Lucciane :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAhahahaha @Bruce Wayne of Gotham City. Out of the groups fan fics I have read, I can safely say this was the most humorous, The joking conversation of the bachelor party mischief and the short but detailed sentences of the emotions of the involved characters was great. I didnt find my mind wandering during the story so its content was able to hold my attention.
ReplyDeleteI didnt find myself angry that your story ended without a fulfilling climax.It contained humor, descriptive detail, a fast but detailed lead up to the ending climax.The small word count didnt seem to contain the production of your story line. I was thinking how are you going to up scale a wedding scene and make it interesting ...add in Bruce Wayne. Now this is what I think a fanfic might look like. well done i really enjoyed this one : )
I really liked it! Good interaction between characters, you've managed to use dialogue really well in your fan fiction which is something I struggled with. Well done :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not familiar with Elementary and I'm not a fan of Americans re-making British stories... therefore, I found your story hard to relate to because I can't get the tone of the original Sherlock Holmes out of my head. Probably my problem, nothing to do with the fanfic. I just found the dialogue to be a bit over-enthusiastic and perhaps on the cheesy side - again, not familiar with Elementary so maybe you have done it perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI realise you were intending to create a cross-over with Elementary and Batman, but I think you could have introduced Bruce Wayne a little earlier on, and why did Moriarty show up? Who is Irene? I know it's hard with the word limit but I think you introduced too much at the end without explanation. It left me thinking "wtf?" - not necessarily a bad thing, it was probably your intention, I personally would have liked a bit more info as to why all these randoms showed up! And was Bruce Wayne referring to Watson, or Moriarty, or this mystery Irene?
im sure irene was moriartys alias name
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback! It is quite difficult to show the whole story coming together and their relationships in only 1000 words.
ReplyDeleteMy original draft I made was over 1500 words.
Thanks for the feedback Rose, yeah it is difficult to get the information the reader wants especially when they are not a fan of the TV series and we have such a sort space in which to show what is happening.
I find it interesting noticing how many facts of a story is spread across episodes to bring everything together when I want to describe it all in one!
I am thinking of continuing to write because it’s pretty fun and lets me relax and get creative.
To answer some questions, Irene Adler is Sherlock’s first and foremost love who in Elementary is killed in London which sends Sherlock into a tail spin of drugs and then brings him to New York.
The twist is that Irene was always Moriarty messing with Sherlock from the beginning and is also a blood relation to Joan Watson.
Moriarty has also made an enemy of Bruce Wayne (for an unknown reason) who in my fanfic will stay as Bruce Wayne and not transform into Batman.